Photo by Bear Eberly
I do not make a habit of elaborating on anything I write, save for precious few critic supporters, however I think this one needs the back story.
"Two fathoms" (about 12 feet) is a nautical measure of depth. Back in the 1800’s and early 1900’s riverboat travel and commerce were prevalent. In order to navigate the rivers safely and not have the boats run aground and get stuck they employed a person to repeatedly mark the depth of the water. Using a line and weight this person would measure the depth as they traveled down the river and call out the watermark. Safe passage depth was two fathoms. Samuel Clemens was one of those hired for the task. When the shallowing waters measured two fathoms the caution call for the depth would be yelled out to the captain as, “MARK TWAIN!”. Go ahead, yell it out like a train conductor would. You know you want to. This is how Samuel Clemens, author of such books as Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn came to choose his pen name. Kind of interesting don’t you think?
Mark Twain had a way of communicating with a calm and nonchalant mock and taunt of the ignorant and imbecilic nature of humans. His character was satirically endearing.
Mark was once hired to travel abroad and send letters of his adventures back to his publisher. These letters became wildly popular reading for their extreme detail and satirical twists. Not bad for a man who never finished grade school.
Mark Twain was also quite the fan of the cigar. Smoking about a dozen stogies a day! That’s about six months' worth for me.
Anyway, one day I was thinking about an old grammar school question and assignment. You probably had the same inquiry at some point. I was asked, “who from history would you like to meet?” This is not an easy one for me as there are very few who would fit the bill for me. Samuel Clemens is one. I believe that I would really enjoy sitting on the porch with a good cigar two fathoms deep in conversation.
I hope you enjoyed the back story and enjoy my poem.
David – "Sour Eye Slanderspiel"
Two Fathoms
Most of you know of
Samuel Clemens
I wish I knew him better
Than the Mark that he left
In a tree full of letters
But to watch together
The twist and curl
Of loosely tethered thoughts
Dramatically stoked
Through repeated puffs
And tufts of cigar smoke
Distorting invisible airstreams
Exposing of just
How trusted the world schemes
Right before our eyes
While living the dream
In mocking demise
And mischievous wit
Satisfied by
The uncomfortable fit
Of muddled puzzles pictured
With occasional sip
Of a favorite elixir
Assisting in every snicker
And flicker of condescending sensation
Affording me the pleasure
If ever the relation
Two Fathoms deep in conversation
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